The Day at home

The Days at home reli make me 1 2 die y all my family members can't understand wat i reli 1ed? is it I didn't think about them 1st ? or bcoz I didn't study hard n my studies?
I feel like killing all of them in juz one shot but tat can never happen bcoz I don't think I have the braveness to kill  them....
I felt so many pain them they juz can't seems to understand wat kind of pain I have in mind
I speak out to them they juz said don't think so much lar or c....c.... ply 2 much com think all those bullshit stuff go back to study now....
y can't juz they understand I felt the pain is worse then dying...everyday thinking about dying onli never had 1 time think about oh thx god 4 giving me such a great family never ever think about tat....y? bcoz u all duno even how to care about ur children
well I don't blame if them can't reli understand me bcoz sometimes I did a lot of wrong also make them angry,dissapointed ,regrade and many more
hope I won't go kill myself as times go on
I think tats all I had to said to so call "My Family"
ya tats all hope u all can reli understand me